6.25 Biloxi, MS

Happy Birthday Kat Saylor!!! 6 months till Christmas :)

Today we worked with Hands On at a variety of different job sites. My group went across the street to Our Lady Fatima Church to an 'English Camp' where about 20 Spanish speaking kids were learning English. Apparently in the local school system, you cannot fail a kid who is learning English as a second language. So these kids are being passed on to the next grades with almost no language skills. I volunteered to work with the preschoolers because of my passion for early childhood education...which maybe wasn't such a great idea. It was basically like babysitting for 8 crazy four year olds with no communication skills. Granted I could speak Spanish to them, but that obviously wasn't the point of the camp. It was a long and frustrating day...just picture Matthew and I standing in the middle of a classroom singing 'Head Shoulders Knees and Toes' while kids run wildly around us paying no attention. It reminded me oh so much why I do not want to be a classroom teacher. But at the same time, there are those moments that make it all worthwhile. When Juan Carlos who has basically zero language of any kind said 'Choo choo' when he saw a train on the video after we had played choo choo train earlier that day...when the kids were so proud to show us their slightly abstract caterpillars they created...when a random game actually gets all their attentions. It makes me remember that each kid really does have a sweet inner child...it's just masked by a raging, scared, confused brat on the outside sometimes. And it is in no way their fault.

Anyway, after a long day that exhausted me as much as a 60 mile bike ride (but thankfully I got a break from the heat), a trip to Walmart was just what I needed. How is it that I can spend $100 at Walmart? But I finally got a new duffel bag so that all my stuff will fit and I re-supplied food/toiletries etc. Not that you really cared about any of that.

After a fabulous dinner provided by Hands On, we heard a presentation by one of the AmeriCorps members about Biloxi and the devastation of Katrina. I realized that I do not know as much as I should about Katrina and the effects. I was in Ecuador when it happened and I just haven't been as informed as I should...and neither has most of the country probably. Biloxi was hit terribly by the storm but people just don't hear about it because of all the talk about New Orleans. Biloxi has always been a big casino area but since the hurricane it may turn into a mini-Las Vegas because people are selling their devastated land for over-market prices offered by the casinos. It's a controversial issue. The pictures we saw were just horrifying and the thought that people are still paying mortgages for houses that do not exist anymore is just awful.

It's amazing seeing all of the volunteers in the area. Yet it brings up the old long-term vs. short-term help issue for me again. I feel bad only coming here for one day when there are people here who came right after the hurricane and have been volunteering unpaid since then. The better way for anything to be fixed is by long-term commitment and consistency (esp with kids). It's not just about rebuilding houses, but about rebuilding communities and changing policies and ways of doing things. So I feel bad stopping for one day...but I know they wouldn't be able to do anything without the support of short-term volunteers. But it still makes me question my life choices. Yes I am choosing to do AmeriCorps next year. But I will be in my comfort zone. I will be in a fun, exciting city, living in a nice apartment in a nice area and working for a good company...with no actual direct service. This is what I want to do, what I'm good at and what I feel comfortable doing. But am I really helping anyone? Making a difference? Serving others? I guess so. But can things really change without everyone getting their hands dirty?

Sorry that was a long, personal rant but just a train of thought I wanted to remember.

Off to New Orleans tomorrow and we'll be there until Monday morning. I don't know if I'll get any internet while I'm there so sit tight and call or text if you really need me :) Much love.